Hidden message #1: MY PLAYLIST
One of my new favorite things to do is have friends and family pick my playlist before a race. It's a good reminder that while my feet run the course, I am not alone. Yesterday's play list worked out quite well! See for yourself . . .Track 1: Faster - Matt Nathanson (Funny that I started out to this song, as it came from my dear friend Aly. She was the first person in grad school who I told about my dad and I later learned that her dad also died from cancer. It was so fitting to begin my 13.1 miles with her in my head and on my heart. I know there are two proud papas smiling down from heaven!)
Track 4-ish: New Shoes - Paolo Nutini (Sent to me from Uncle Bobby . . . like me, she loves the "Soundtracks of Life". This song began (literally!!!) as I ran right into a HUGE puddle after spending so much time trying to dodge them. It was pouring yesterday and I was trying to salvage my shoes as long as possible. No luck there!)
5K mark-ish: Reach - S Club 7 (My new and dear friend Helen (my carpool buddy!!) sent this song and it was first time I snapped out of zone and actually heard something . . . I don't think she knows the significance of this stanza but it was much needed and so appreciated)
Follow your hearts desire
Reach for the stars
And when that rainbow's shining over you
That's when your dreams will all come true
Reach for the stars
And when that rainbow's shining over you
That's when your dreams will all come true
Finishing track: I'll Meet You There - Owl City (The closing stanza is how I ended and it could not be more perfect . . . a nice reminder that while I would not give my dad a high five at the finish, he was still there beaming!)
You could be anywhere I'll meet you there You could be anywhere Open your eyes and see everything you can be I'll meet you there Hidden message #2: SILENCE Mile 10ish: I had put my dad's band's CD on my playlist, but since I played it on random there was no telling when it would be on. I was getting frustrated because I felt like I would hear his voice when I needed it. I was yelling at him in my head . . . screaming in fact. "Dad, where the hell are you?! I am almost done and I have felt/seen very little of you!!!" My Ipod stopped. Not at the end of a song. Not a skip in the track. It just stopped for a good five seconds and then carried on again. Sometimes silence says everything. My sister's favorite quote of my dad's . . . "The beauty of the unspoken thought." Hidden message #3: JENNIE I started the race talking to a girl a little older than me who lost her mom to squamous cell carcinoma on June 8, 2011. She too was a DetermiNation runner and the top fundraiser of our team raising over $5000.00!!! Jennie was the first person I have ever talked to that knows what tongue cancer is, let alone known someone who has had it. While I wish the fate of our parents was different, it was an honor and privilege meeting her. Hidden message #4: VANISHING PAINThroughout my training program, I have had some knee issues. Hills and stairs have caused some intense pain and around mile 9 this pain came on full force. I thought about each ribbon on my shirt, each chemo drip that each ribbon represented, every radiation treatment, every hair lost, every tear shed, every broken heart, every *%^@!& cancer cell that took the lives of so many and suddenly, while cruising through a water station, my knee pain vanished and has not reappeared since. What an army of angels I had with me! Hidden message #5: MY JERSEYMy dad's picture. Initially, I screenprinted this as a reminder that my dad was rooting me on, cheering for me. As I approached the Seekonk River and was choked up by its beauty, I realized that my dad was also cheering on every person behind me. This added to my sense of pride. He knew, as he often did, that I had done what I needed to to prepare. He was not worried about me, but instead focused his attention on the other people around me that may have needed a little push. There is proof folks, his spirit lives on!
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